I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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