Well douche your snatch and let's go!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
