I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
