I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Still dying that you shit outside
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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