so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
