Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
