ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
