Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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