If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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