Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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