took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
