I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize