its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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