you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
