the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
