I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't turn off my feet"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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