why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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