Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
