I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
