No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
