very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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