i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
