i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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