What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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