we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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