Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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