there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize