The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
