6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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