goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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