WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
