he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
