No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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