there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
