Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
