i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
