Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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