they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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