i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize