did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
