do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
