that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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