I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
