some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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