12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I supernannyed him into submission
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
