Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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