she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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