i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
