You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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