You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
