Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I've blown a few things in my day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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