come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
