I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
