no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
