I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
