No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
