the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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