I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
