I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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