Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
