So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
