Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
