you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
