found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
